Polygamy, Polyamory, Open Relationships, Infidelity & Sex Work in Vodou

There is a long standing tradition in many West African cultures of polygamy, particularly among the Gbe speaking peoples of Ghana, Togo, & Benin where Vodou is indigenous. However, in modern times love & romance are very different than it was in the days of our grandfather's grandfather and new questions on how to navigate these relationships demand attention.

Traditionally, marriage had very little to do with love and everything to do with building relationships between communities and the transfer of wealth & resources. This was an arrangement approved of by the vodous and ancestors as it provided order, stability, and obligations that promoted social harmony and well being.

Modern nights are rife with change and the abandonment of traditions. While it may be time for transformation the attending chaos is not something that will ever be endorsed by the spirits as evidenced by the lack of health & harmony among the intemperate. Complex sexual politics, shifting gender roles and identities, the normalization of same sex relationships, the decline of marriages, and the growing preference for childlessness are all major paradigm shifts must be adapted to as they are defined by their breakaway from tradition. For the vodous & ancestors some of these things are acceptable as is, others must be brought within the confines of acceptable society, while still others are abominable and must be cut off from acceptable practice entirely.

Polyamory is considered by the vodous I've conversed with as an acceptable broadening of polygamy given the shifting gender roles and the normalization of bisexuality. In the olden days it was an open secret that men & women had "bosom friends" they would be physically intimate with, and girlfriends that men would share with each other. Polyamory potentially extends the historic legitimacy of polygamy to these relationships and bringing them back within the bounds of a harmonious society.

Notice I said the vodous were accepting of these things. Ancestors have totally different prerogatives and tend to frown on any union that doesn't produce children. Ancestors guard and encourage their bloodlines as a matter of survival; humans reincarnate in their descendants and are not inclined to close access to future generations. That said, ancestors have their own peccadillos and can be convinced to accept lesser venues of return if the fiscal or social conditions they may return to are sufficiently improved from the current situation. You don't have to please all of your ancestors, just the one the came back with you but they will not be denied.

When I was a case manager at a halfway house in Anchorage, Alaska there was a gay guy(a self described "insatiable bottom") with three children from three different women and he for the life of himself couldn't understand how it happened. Unable to dissuade him from his lifestyle (sexual orientation isn't lifestyle but there is a 'gay' lifestyle) the spirits gave him a drinking problem to go with his conscienceless penis and fecund female friends that found him irresistible. The spirits won't punish disobedience done in ignorance necessarily but they will find a way to achieve their aims. What can't be countenanced under any circumstance is marital infidelity.

Vows are the lifeblood of society as they are the assurance of all relationships. Violating those conditions erode communities, ruining lives and fortunes. While open relationships & swinging doesn't necessarily count as infidelity (terms & conditions apply) they can lead to complications equally problematic.

Unlike a polyamorous relationship where binding obligations to the members are observed, open relationships involve casual sex with people who's character and merit are not considered germane to the coupling. Ancestors don't like to have their inheritances cuckolded by a random hook up and may take exception to being returned too far away from their origins were they can't receive offerings & sacrifices or sharing space with people who's behaviors are unacceptable to them. Additionally, this type of behavior tends to indicate a weakness in character that, like sorcery, tends to portend moral erosion. The pursuit of pleasure, like power, often sacrifices virtue and the good will of the spirits. Swinging is not expressly forbidden, but tread carefully. You are responsible for your outcomes.

And the last thing I'll briefly discuss is Sex Work. Given the current social trends, sex work is still poorly regarded but has achieved some social legitimacy although street level work is still illegal in many areas. In places where it is legal or the method is legal the question remains is it acceptable to the vodous? Sex work is acceptable to the vodous under certain conditions; chiefly you can't violate the taboos. Many spirits regard sex work in the same light as they do war, sports or medicine and they likewise expect a degree of sanctity brought to the work. None the less, not all spirits regard sex work so neutrally and many of the more primordial spirits consider it detrimental to good character & social order. Even the most accepting spirits consider the practice unclean and so like a soldier returning from war, a sex worker is forbidden sacred spaces (and if wise entrance into home towns) before being ritually purified.

A word of caution, when petitioning spiritual patronage for sex work you would be well advised to steer clear of spirits that love Love. Sex work is commerce, sex work is entertaining, sex work can even be healing, but sex work is never love and spirits concerned with such things will be incensed beyond imagining at the conflation.

Now I've covered quite a bit and it all sounds really permissive but I cannot stress this enough, the vodous will permit this type of behavior only in societies where it is allowable. Attempting to import these ideas into areas where they are not considered acceptable, like rural West Africa, & the best you can hope for is that the spirits tell you to leave and never return with that behavior. As the Old Folks used to say, "every village has their own way to dress a chicken". Act accordingly.